People development is the most important responsibility of a leader. Leaders are mentors. Mentors are leaders. It’s not the position you hold but the role you play in the success of others which makes you a leader.
Leaders need multiple mentors both inside and outside the organization. Every member of the team should have access to several mentors. Mentoring needs to be the organizational culture. Never hire talented individuals of integrity without committing to providing them the resources and tools to optimize their contributions which includes mentors.
Mentors are advisers. They don’t make decisions for their mentees. They help mentees follow the best decisional process to arrive at the right choice for them. They don’t tell us what to think but rather what to think about when making a specific decision.
It is a relationship not a conversation. A mentoring relationship revolves around trust, honesty, objective counsel, listening, a willingness to teach and learn, patience, understanding, empathy, humility, experience, judgment, confidentiality, regular contact, match/fit, independence not dependence, and encouragement. As Maxwell adds, a mentor should not advise if he or she has never made this type of decision because it’s like telling someone about a country he or she has never visited.
Both the mentor and mentee have to be truly committed to a successful and productive relationship. It will take time to build this partnership. They need to focus their attention on their conversation and avoid distractions (e.g., put down the phone and have one meeting at a time). They need to value each other’s time. The mentor should take time to give advice, and the mentee needs time to understand and process it. Mentors need to take time to learn what issue the mentee is facing. They need to ask questions and listen to the answers.
It is OK for a mentor to say “I don’t know” or refer the mentee to another mentor. One of the most valuable things a mentor does is suggest resources or tools which can aid the mentee in analyzing the issue. Mentors must remember that their own experience has limits. Mentors should also compare advice with outcomes.
A mentee is not required to follow the mentor’s advice. Ultimately, the decision is made by the mentee. Mentors need not be overprotective. Both mentors and mentees should not avoid necessary discussions. Mentees have to be allowed to make their own decisions including mistakes. It is also wise for a mentor or mentee to admit a mistake either in advice or decisions. A lot of beneficial learning can come from mistakes.
Both mentors and mentees give and get in this relationship. The goal is to help mentees achieve their goals and be the best they can be. The mentor finds it to be rewarding to help and see their success. No one achieves anything of real significance without a mentor. Mentors make all kinds of hopes and dreams possible (Abrashoff, 2002; Blanchard, 2011; Cate, 2021; Chopra & Saint, 2017; Collins, 2001; Drucker, 2001; Grant, 2017; Kotter, 2012; Lee 2021; Lencioni, 2012; Maxwell, 1998; Welch, 2005).
